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Ämne: Exempel på text:
Skrivet av: Peter (Hällingsjö)
Tid: 2007-02-02 08:12:39

Angående nya JR alt: (måste vara skrivet av Lew Rothman himself, samma humor)

Many of you may think that we just
slap stickers on bundles of cigars
to create different JR Alternatives,
but there’s really a lot more involved
in the creation of these low-cost
handmades than people realize… and
there’s a lot of risk. These cigars are
contracted in massive quantities, and
if people don’t like them and they fail
to sell, then we gotta eat them (or at
least smoke them) ourselves.
Prior to ordering a new version
of JR Alternative we have to
determine which manufacturer is
most capable of producing a cigar
similar to the famous brand we are
attempting to imitate. Sometimes
that manufacturer might be the very
same outfit that produces the actual
brand that our cigar is an alternative
to, and sometimes that manufacturer
might not even operate in the same
country as the original brand.
However, we do guarantee that every
JR Alternative is made in the same
hemisphere.
Next, our tasting team (that’s me
and a guy named Ed) get samples of
the real cigars and the prospective
imitations and check to make sure
that the real cigars and the JR
Alternatives at least look like they
were made on the same planet.
That’s because people judge things
by how they look… and I will say
without hesitation that these new JR
Alternatives presented here for the
first time actually look BETTER than
the real stuff!
Next, we smoke our asses off – first
the real cigars, then the Alternative
varieties. We feel them, we inspect
them, we disassemble them, we sniff
‘em for traces of ammonia, chew
parts of the wrapper, and consume
great quantities of alcohol to keep
our taste buds clean. This is a very
tough job, but somebody hasta do
it… and very few are qualified like
me and Ed. In fact, our opinions
are so important that the company
has taken out a multimillion-dollar
policy to insure our taste buds,
and both of us had to sign waivers
that we would never eat any foods
containing the four highest-category
chili peppers or the insurance would
be null and void.
In fact, a team of surgeons actually
took samples of our taste buds and
cryogenically froze them as evidence
in the event of an insurance claim.
Now, you may think I’m kidding but,
here – take a look at this picture of
Ed’s tongue (no, I’m not showing you
my tongue too; one picture is enough
to prove my point) and you can see
where the taste buds have been
surgically removed.
Both Ed and I think you are gonna
be absolutely amazed at how good
these new JR Alternatives are – and
flabbergasted (I love that word)
at the low price for cigars of this
quality.


Hela tråden

ÄmneTidSkrivet av
N VARNING! Ladda inte ner...08:08 den 2 februari 2007Peter (Hällingsjö)
      N Exempel på text:08:12 den 2 februari 2007Peter (Hällingsjö)
           N Exempel på text:10:31 den 3 februari 2007Andréas Thn
                N Exempel på text:20:48 den 3 februari 2007Peter (Hällingsjö)
      N VARNING! Ladda inte ner...13:47 den 2 februari 2007higgins
           N VARNING! Ladda inte ner...13:49 den 2 februari 2007Peter (Hällingsjö)
                N VARNING! Ladda inte ner...09:58 den 3 februari 2007higgins